Additional Bread & Butter.
Question: If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will always
drop butter side down. But when you drop a cat it will
always land on its feet. What would happen if you took a piece
of butered bread, strapped it on the back of a cat (butter side
up) and dropped both?
Answer: Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself
you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws
of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground,
and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand
that the cat cannot land on its back.
If the combined construct were to land, nature would
have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does
not fall.
That's right! You have discovered the secret of antigravity!
A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a
height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion
are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified
by scraping off some of the butter - providing lift - or
removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already
use this principle to drive their ships within planetary
systems. The loud humming heard by most sighters of
UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred cats. The
one obvious danger, of course, arises if the cats manage to
eat the bread off their backs. In this case they will
instantly plummet. Naturally the cats will land on their feet but this
generally doesn't do them much good, since right after
they make their landing several tons of red-hot starship
and irritated aliens crash on top of them.
Source: ncc1701b@ix.netcom.com (Paul J Cummins)