Murphy's Law...

"You can always find what you're not looking for."

"If everything seems to be going well, then you obviously don't know what the hell is going on."

"If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid"

"All warranties expire upon payment of invoice."

"Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible."

"Everything goes on sale ... right after you buy it."

"Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man."

"When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time."

"Murphy was a grunt. - Murphy's military laws"

"The theory is supported as long as the funds are."

"If everything going good, you must have overlooked something."

"Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanaswerable."

"People specialize in their area of greatest weakness."

"The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish."

"If everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane"

"The sum of the intelligence of the planet is constant; the population is growing."

"Your bivouac for the night is the spot where got tired of marching that day. - Murphy's military laws"

"It's the dead wood that holds up the tree."

"There is nothing so small that it cannot be blown out of proportion."

"The seriousness of a wound is inversely proportional to the distance to the nearest help."

"Every organization has an allotted number of positions to be filled by misfits. (Corollary: Once a misfit leaves, another will be recruited.)"

"Any given miscalculation, the fault will never be placed if more than one person is involved."

"If you hit two keys on a typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper."

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